By: Fatima Nuur, Naima M, Hassan and Ayan Mohamed Jama
Domestic violence is a widespread threat to the rights of
women. Its effects can include harm to the individual’s health, mental and
emotional well-being as well as their social and economic standing.
In Somali culture, it is common for men to yell at, slap,
ignore, or abuse their wives. Interestingly, the majority of women in rural and
specific urban areas feel their husbands have the right to abuse them if they
neglect their responsibilities and alleged duties.
According to the Somaliland Human Rights
Commission, the number of instances of domestic abuse they have documented has
increased since last year, yet the majority of survivors do not report to the
office out of fear of social stigmatization. In the last nine months alone, the
SHRC complaint office received 52 cases of domestic abuse, compared to 48 in
2021.
Violation of women’s rights is a violation of human rig:”:”
Most Somali men have toxic masculinity; they feel that the
woman is their property and that they have the right to determine whether to
throw that property away or retain it. As a result, many women have been
subjected to different forms of abuse by their spouses. Hence living gloomy and miserable lives.
The typical Somali woman cannot leave her marital home
because she does not have support; her family, particularly her mother and
father, will constantly encourage her to stay married regardless of the
situation in the marriage.
What makes matters worse is that
most women are financially dependent and therefore don’t have access to money that
can enable them to live on their own.
The traditional system of family
dispute mediation, which is more based on a patriarchal system and denies women
rights regarding matrimony, cohabitation between spouses, and custody of
children, is promoted as a result of the lack of gender-informed family law and
legal frameworks that protect women and their children. If women go to court
the judges and lawyers will rather have the families negotiate and will never
entertain their pleas and this leads to further violence, characterizing women’s
daily lives with anxiety and misery.
The connection between domestic violence and cultural norms
In Somalia, strict norms that define masculinity or male honor
in terms of domination are upheld. Unfortunately, the norms have a close link to violence against women. For instance, a man
being nice to their spouses was seen as disgraceful in ancient times.
If a husband referred to his wife as "my dear," among
men he risked being teased and referred to as a soft man. To avoid humiliation,
the majority of men never showed any affection towards their wives. Men
(particularly those the remote areas) constantly sought to avoid their spouse’s
company, and this was seen as a source of pride for Somali men.
Such societal expectations and cultural norms compel Somali
men to be nasty and devoid of empathy and affection.
Somali society, on the other hand, has educated women to
remain obedient toward their husbands and to not trouble their spouses.
According to Somalis, a lady who does not wet a pillow with tears cannot
provide for her family.
In the last years, Somali women have been adapting to
their situations and have started to talk about the problems that are happening
to them from all sides by using social media., These problems include rape that
they face from their family members and the abuse that they face from their
husbands. Social media has become a platform that easily connects many women
who are survivors of abuse. When a girl speaks up, she gets a lot of support
from other women who are or have been in the same situation, it's great that
women speak up and address their problems in a public way. However, in these
social media platforms, you can also see from the comments that a large number
of women and many of the men still blame the women who complain about the
mistreatment they encounter from their loved ones, in most cases they accuse
her of being a loose woman who is naïve and being influenced by the west, others
blame her for going against the culture and religion.
Society does not understand that women have the right to
talk about their problems as survivors of domestic violence, however, the
generation that is currently in its 30s is mostly educated, outspoken, and knows
their rights, and it is easy to encourage each other, particularly the diaspora
women, to organize meetings, provide emotional support to one another,
“As women, we live in a room where
every wall looks to oppress us until we die.”
Case Study 1
I’m a mother of 3 children, my ex-husband neglected us
before I filed for divorce. He abandoned his children and did not want to pay any
child support or be responsible for their financial needs. He used to abuse me
and leave us for days without money or paying the rent. Finally, I filed for a
divorce and once it was finalized, I lost my rights as a wife including my
dowry.The court made him pay the child support and everything, but he used to
pay it irregularly, and this made our
living conditions very difficult.
After some time, he would not pay the school fees, and as
a result, the children were expelled. Later, he decided to manipulate the
children by spoiling them with frequent visits to their school, giving them
some allowance so they could trust him. When the children fully trusted their
father, he took them away from me and I no longer see them and I miss them.
Case Study 2
My husband used to beat me while I was pregnant. When I
filed a report against him, I did not get justice because of the unsupportive legal
system. However, I still filed for a divorce as the physical abuse continued. He
eventually allowed me to divorce without hesitation. He did not face any punishment
and in exchange for the divorce I had to forgo my dowry before my divorce was finalized,
I thought justice would be served in my favor but instead, I lost my rightsas a
wife.
The role of women in peacebuilding in family conflict:
Somali women consistently participate in peace, whether it
is at the country level or family level. They play essential roles, such as
mediation and reconciliation, and often compromise everything including
themselves. If a man is abusive and violent with their rights, they still stay
with their children to prevent family conflict. In terms of family conflict,
women are often very active. They try to solve the conflict between their
spouses for fear that the dispute will lead to problems such as divorce – then they
would lose their children and their family. Sometimes, the two spouse’s
families, the side of the man, and the side of the woman, conflict with each
other, so the woman tries to bring the two families together and mediate to
resolve the dispute. Still, their participation is sometimes restricted, to
some extent, by persisting beliefs in male dominance, which leaves limited
space for women to participate fully. Cultural beliefs and gender inequality are
at the center of the impediments to full participation by women in family
conflict resolution. Despite these challenges, the participants believed that
women are making a positive impact in resolving family conflicts.
Prevention of domestic violence.
Somali women’s equal value and rights within the household
and family must be recognized and honored, so that they can exercise their
agency in peacemaking.
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To stop or prevent domestic violence against
women, we need to establish a just, gender-informed Somaliland family law framework
that helps the court to deal with cases such as domestic violence, marriage,
divorce, and child custody
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Ending domestic violence requires political
commitment, implementing laws that promote gender equality as well as legal and
policy reforms
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Awareness-raising community mobilization and
capacity building
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